I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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