I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
