Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
