This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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