im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You pole danced in your parka.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
