i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
