Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
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The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
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He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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