I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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