Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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