How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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