Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
