I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Randomize
