Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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