I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
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