Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
