she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
