The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
