So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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