I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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