Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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