kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
