I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
