why didn't you poke me back
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
