my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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