it was like his penis was on wheels.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
last night I used snow as a chaser
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