The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
