Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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