Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize