i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Rumble strips road head = magical
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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