Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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