We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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