shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
