whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
