it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
