i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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