I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
