Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
