Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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