she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
