The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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