we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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