It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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