Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I party with great urgency now.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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