We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
