nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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