Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
