I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
