you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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