I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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