he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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