I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize