do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize