come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Fuck appropriateness.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
