Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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