The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
