watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
