and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
