How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Randomize
