how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I need a beard to bite.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize